Turning Battles Into Blessings
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When A Cancer Kid Grows Up🎗️
My name is Katerina Antonenko and I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Wilms Tumor at 5 years old. I am extremely fortunate to say I am celebrating 20 years inMore...
When A Cancer Kid Grows Up🎗️
My name is Katerina Antonenko and I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Wilms Tumor at 5 years old. I am extremely fortunate to say I am celebrating 20 years in remission this year.
Twenty years ago, my mom, my 4 other siblings and myself were visiting my grandparents in Fargo, ND. I was doing all the normal things kids did; running around with my brothers, playing dress-up with my sisters, doing everything opposite of what my mom ask of me, the usual. For a few months or so I had on and off stomach aches, and as a 5-year-old, I didn't complain at all… obviously... My grandpa was a veterinarian, so my mom asked him to take a look at me. Papa felt around my little belly and looked at my mom and said, 'You need to take her in.' He knew exactly what it was. So off I went, to go and hide because what kid likes the doctors office? My mom finally found me and dragged me out from under a bed and took me in.
Up in Fargo, I had lots of tests done, saw lots of doctors and nurses, and watched tons of Bugs Bunny. We went back home to Plymouth, MN and then I was admitted to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis and diagnosed with Wilms Tumor. There, I underwent multiple surgeries, a few rounds of radiation, as well as a few rounds of chemotherapy. I was in and out of the hospital for procedures. Sometimes I had a roommate, sometimes my roommate was Katerina The Ballerina on the TV (which I recently fact-checked myself on this; it’s actually Angelina the Ballerina. One can hope a show is named after you, right?). Once the chemo started to kick in, my hair started falling out. I couldn't take having my hair scratch my neck so I asked my mom to shave my head, which she did. As did my dad, my brothers, some uncles. My sister, Ashley, wanted to, but had to settle for just a trim. I was in kindergarten when I had cancer, so it was a little early to start wearing wigs. I started a pretty good collection of bandanas to wear on my little bald noggin to school. Although, school. In 2005, no hats were allowed, which I heard time and time again when I just wanted to try and fit in.
Soon enough, I was finally able to get the port taken out of my chest. A port is a small, implantable device that attaches to a vein, mine was placed right below my collarbone. After that was out, it was all up from there. Until I was about 16, I went back every year for lab work and every 3 years for an echocardiogram and CT scan (which we used to call KAT scans!). From about 16 to 21, I still got lab work done every year and scans every 5 years. When I went into the oncology center at Children's around my 22nd birthday, I was told I didn't need to come back anymore. Every year for about 15 years I went back to make sure I was still cancer free. And just like that, it's over.
I am beyond blessed to be here to tell my cancer story. But what I went through was completely different from what my siblings and parents went through. It took me a long time to realize and see that although my body went through all the surgeries, radiation, and chemo and I may have had the hardest time physically, the mental and emotional pain to have a loved one go through all of that can be just as traumatizing. I asked my parents and siblings what their experiences were like, as I’ve learned, their perspectives and experiences are much different than mine.
“I don’t remember much about the time Kat had cancer. Whether because of my age at the time or a reluctance to remember, I’m not sure. Thinking back now, I only remember flashes of instances.
The blue pill crusher pouring dust into a bowl of ice cream that the rest of us didn’t get.
A pink sparkly bandana bobbing down the elementary school hallway, hiding a head that used to be full of hair.
An empty bed on the other side of the bedroom.
A support group with other kids sat in a circle in a weirdly big, open room.
Beanie Baby toys and a trampoline.
Jealousy. Anger. Loneliness. Grief. Frustration.
Looking back, I understand the “why’s” - why Kat got giant stuffed animals gifted to her, why family members and friends were constantly stopping by with meals or gifts or to babysit, why Kat had to stay at the hospital and couldn’t come home all the time. I understand the support and am so grateful to everyone in our lives who helped make Kat’s journey - and our family’s journey - as easy as it could be.
I am so thankful I’ve gotten to see Kat grow up and become the woman she is today - smart, kind, thoughtful, beautiful, genuine. Words can’t describe how proud I am of Katerina as she continues her cancer journey through finding ways to positively impact the lives of those affected by childhood cancer. Cheers to 20 years cancer free, and to many, many more!”
~ Ashley (older sister)
"I remember being in Fargo and Katerina had a really bad stomach ache that wouldn’t go away. It was alarming when my mom took her to the hospital, because if we weren’t feeling well, we took a little Tylenol, rested and had some light food and usually felt better soon enough. After they headed to the hospital, everything was sort of a blur afterwards. After Katerina’s diagnosis, I remember going to a few events for children whose siblings had been diagnosed with a serious/terminal illness. I remember silly things, like being jealous that Kat got to have extra ice cream, but really, she got the ice cream because it was the only way she could stomach her cancer treatment pills that were crushed and mixed in. I know that there were so many painful moments, but I remember joyful moments as well. I remember when Katerina had her head shaved, and my dad happily did so as well. I remember meeting Katerina’s pediatric oncologist, Dr. Nelson, and how he would emphatically announce her name in a Ukrainian accent — “Katerina Maria Antonenko!”
I truly do not remember the severity of Katerina’s diagnosis at the time, and I think our parents worked really hard to shield us from how hard it was both for them and for Katerina. I didn’t learn until after she had been declared cancer-free what her survival chances were when she was originally diagnosed. Now, she is 20 years cancer-free and her light shines so brightly. I couldn’t be happier or prouder that she is my sister. She is creative, inclusive, thoughtful, kind, assertive and hard-working — I want to be like Kat when I grow up. Thank God I get to know who she is now."
~ Emily (oldest sister)
"My reaction to Katerina’s cancer diagnosis was to turn my emotions off and logistically figure out how to best help her while managing a household of 7. It had been my job and focus for over 5 years to make everything work and thrive at home with 5 humans under 8 years old. Fortunately, we were blessed with amazing family, friends, and employer support! Family came and helped manage household responsibilities, friends sent encouraging notes and gifts, and Paul’s employer sent many meals and granted him the time off he needed to support our situation. Katerina never spent time alone during her many hospitalizations. I recall that our amazing oncologist, Dr. Nelson, at one point when I was questioning a treatment that could be detrimental to her later adult life, he responded, “Yes, but we want her to become an adult.” That became our focus, and he became one of the few people that Katerina would EVER talk to in the hospital (she was 5 and only talked to people she wanted to)! We were blessed with Dr. Nelson and all the hard-working, supportive people at Children’s MN. They ALL had a hand in helping Katerina grow into the amazing adult that she is today!”
~ Liz (mom)
“Receiving word that your daughter has cancer is one of the hardest calls that somebody can get as a father. When the kids and Liz were up in Fargo visiting my in-laws, I ended up receiving a phone call from Liz indicating that Katerina had been diagnosed with cancer. To say that it was shocking would be an understatement. Typically, men in my family want to hold in our emotions, but it was something I was not able to do and ended up crying into my pillow that night, not understanding what was going on and what the implications could be. I was not sad, I was scared.
After the kids and Liz got back into town, we really ended up just putting our game faces on and trying to figure out what we needed to do, what it meant to her, what it meant to us, and how best to address the situation as a family.
Obviously, the results of Katerina‘s battle against cancer is a positive one, but also understanding that that is not always the case, we have always considered ourselves very blessed to have that result and we do not take it or her for granted.
About halfway through all the treatments one of the most unexpected things was that we recognized that there was a lot of attention being given to her and a lack of attention to the other four children who are just as important to us as Katerina. This was a stark adjustment that we had to make from being so focused on what Katerina was facing, to truly trying to understand what the other kids were facing as her siblings. We made sure to find time to spend with each of them as much as possible, listen to them if they needed to understand more, or simply be with them so they felt things to be as normal as possible.
One other item that is important to note is that when you face the situation like this, as a family, your faith can be tested. I was lucky enough to recognize that God is a very important of our life and a huge contributor to the stability of our family. Unfortunately, when other families have been faced with a similar diagnosis, the result from a familial standpoint is not what we experienced. We are lucky and blessed to have five children, all love each other, watch out for each other, and enjoy each other’s company. Just as importantly, we are closer as a couple and closer to God,
And here we are 20 years later! I am proud of Katerina’s focus on wanting to give back to the institutions that helped save her life so that more kids and families can experience what we have after facing such incredible challenges.”
~ Paul (dad)
My two younger brothers, Sam and David, were too little to remember this time period but I asked them if anything came to mind - Sam said the only thing he remembers was, “The ceremonial shaving of the ol’ noggin”, clearly made a lasting impression on everyone in my family. This is the first time I’ve heard my sisters and parents speak about their experiences in this magnitude. I sobbed reading and rereading while I was preparing this page.
As previously mentioned, it took me a long time to see that I wasn’t the only one that struggled. To get even a glimpse of an idea of what my family went through, understanding how they felt, is exactly why I’m wanting to raise money for the Cancer Kids Fund. This fund helps more than just the patients. From cancer research and studies, to siblings play areas, meals, mortgage payments for families that need it, therapists, toys and art supplies. It’s a support system for families that may or may not already have one. It can be a weight off of shoulders and allows family and friends to put their energy towards loving and supporting their loved ones.
I deeply appreciate you taking the time to read through my and my family’s experiences and to hear just how much the support from others can make a lasting impression and a huge difference in not just one life, but in many.
Xoxo, Kat
Children's Minnesota
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